Wednesday, December 30, 2015

"I do", sorta...

The following is a direct response to what was written here...

Weddings and marriages where I'm from are complete jokes, not meant to be taken "seriously".
They are more like a dinner theater comedy performance, usually spiced up with some level of drama.
If there is anyone honestly out there, that still believes in any "sanctity" in a wedding or a marriage, you should know that you're the special one, you're the one who's holding on to the past like an eight track player and letter stamps in phone booths made for dinosaurs.
I was with my wife for about ten years before we got married and I was (and still am) so against the definition of marriage, that I refused to sign any papers because to me, that was throwing my dedication, my love and the value of our relationship, into that messy cauldron of idiocy that is everyone else's marriages.

So if you know me or are familiar with my writings, you know that I'm all about progress, especially of the vocabulary kind.
As in, I believe it is time we renounce the words "marriage" and "weddings" as only something we watch the Kardashians do on our teles (that's the new way I'm spelling televisions, Tel-ees and see how into progress I am..?)
From now on, if you want to use the old form of the word marriage, the new word is "commitment".  That should please the gay and lesbian communities as over here, we are still forbidden in like thirteen states from gay marriage.
As in, you can Commit to another person, your pet, your kids, your cars, your "whatevers", and really dedicate your whole life to them, be there for them and try to share some things exclusively with them.
You could even change the name from "spouse" to "commitment partner" huh.
And from now on, the term "wedding" will be known as a "dedication ceremony" so we don't get confused on the purpose.
To me, a wedding is a party that you get free alcohol from, usually there's some dancing, some single chics feeling all needy, you know, some form of puking, crying and hilarity usually ensues.
They're great fun unless you're the one paying the bill and at no time, should you take this event seriously.
A "ceremony" however, is a serious event and you can tell because no one is wearing any clothing that "matches" because all participants know, that the specialness is not something they can see on the outside, it is not something they can measure.
A ceremony commits one partner to the other for life, there are no escapes from your promises, no divorces, no legal battles.

The ceremony with my wife was a small affair, I think we spent less than three hundred because we didn't have any more (oh sorry, dollars, not pounds, the conversion would be, about two hundred British pounds.)
We invited the family and friends that could make it but didn't get upset if someone couldn't attend.  We chose a day that was special to us and it happened to fall on a Monday meaning some people could not get time off, from their employers.
We chose a park down the street from our house, a rock garden complete with rare flowers and a waterfall (and prayed that it wouldn't rain).  We purchased cheap rings that only had special meaning to us, we burnt a disc with our songs on it and pushed play on the boombox.  We had a photographer friend shoot some pictures for a minimal cost.
And in the end, the one thing I remember most was that we took our footwear off and dipped our feet into a tray of water with floating petals before standing, barefoot, on a rock to read our self written vows (okay, the wife "mostly" composed her vows, I had to rearrange some words so it flowed better but that's just because that's how I roll.)
If I need a reminder, we did video tape the whole event and I made a video disc for people that didn't make it.
We've been committed for about five years now and I still love my wife the same if not more.  I wouldn't trade her for any milk bath babe (see previous post) and I cherish her every day, in every way possible.

If you're frustrated with the way the rest of the world works, all it takes is different vocabulary and now you can stop comparing theirs, to yours, because the two are different and you and I, and everyone else, knows it.

Hey special thanks to Nik once again, I had to look up the word "tartan" because I'd never seen that one before.  Never knew and to me, well big fat thanks are well deserved.
The last message from me of the year is:  You have no idea how much some people really appreciate you.

A Movie without Sugar...

The following is a direct response to what was written here...

Yeah, I can admit it, I'm not very good at watching movies when they first come out.  I'm not good at "keeping up" and such...
I probs have thirty million excuses, all of them completely valid and not at all fabricated...
So I haven't watched the new Mad Max yet, I remember putting it on my list and...  well, there it sits, still on the list eh.
So I can't say too much about a movie I haven't seen yet, I do like that my writing hero Nik wrote what she thought about it, and as usual, I have some thoughts that could echo some of her stuff.
Let's see...

I think the movies that we watch nowadays, can safely be put into two "categories", the "big budget", big actors, lots of fireworks and effects.  And the "small budgets", the little actors, mabes no fireworks.
And what makes 'em "big", at least to me, is their advertising budgets, as in, the big, expensive movies have many more trailers and promotionals than the smalls.
When my kids see the Mad Max trailer twice a day for seven weeks straight, it makes them want to watch it right.  If they never see a trailer for a small, well how can they want to watch something if they don't know what it is?

I sorta relate it to being strapped into a high chair, remember those?  When you were little, your parents or mother (or caretaker) might have had to prop you up and spoon feed your mush into your mouth (boy what funny humans we all are...)
Because we were too young to provide our own nourishments.
So sometimes, when we were young, we didn't want to eat the bland mush, we'd turn our heads or refuse to open our mouths.  But if our feeder sprinkled a little sugar on top of that spoonfull, ah, mouths open wide.
But the trick doesn't seem to last, as most tricks don't...
After a bit, the amount of sugar better increase or, if the taste of the mush gets any worse, two sprinkles might be required or further head turns will result.

So our movie makers are not stupid, they've been doing this for a while now and if they were stupid, well they'd probs realize it at some point and stop trying to make movies.
They know how to sprinkle the sugars just right and it shouldn't be any surprise that we still want that sugar huh.
If a movie maker wants to make a movie for men, they insert a few sexy looking women in scantily clad outfits.  If they aren't sexy enough, more women might just do the trick, mabes throw in a couple with different hair styles or colors, mabes throw in some from different backgrounds or nationalities.
If the movie makers want to make something that women will open their mouths for, they insert Bradley Cooper and make the movie about food and cooking.
It's a pretty easy recipe to follow and you get better with practice.

My strange and wandering point is, we can't blame people for making movies and we can't blame others for opening their mouths if the sugars are just right.
Should we stop eating sugars?  Try to convince others that movie watching is bad for us?
The sad truth is that some people never grow up, they never figure out the straps and buckles that hold them to their high chairs.  And others will exploit these people, usually just for their money (and I can't really blame them).
So yes, the general public is pretty stupid huh, they are humans...

But to say that you'd like more feminist themes in your movies, well okay, I can't tell you no, right.
What's required is that you escape your restraints, climb downward carefully, hide from the spoon feeders and when they're not looking, you sneak into the kitchen, climb to the highest cupboard and find an old, dirty carrot.
Then you cram that carrot (after washing) into your mouth without sugars.  You chomp and swallow and in the end, you're left with a really positive, healthy feeling because not only are you no longer eating the sugars, but you're exercising, you're climbing counters and being perceptive, waiting for the right time to sneak that carrot.
You're growing and learning and making better decisions than you once did.

Because those carrots are out there, they're always in the darkest corners, waiting for you to pick them up and brush them off.
But they'll always be behind the sugared mush and it will take some feats of resistance to acquire them.
Before you wonder why there's no real healthy themes to your movies, ask yourself how hard you worked to find your movie.
If the answer is, not very hard at all, you can expect that your sugar flavored mush will not provide much mental or spiritual sustenance.

I also have to admit, that I didn't know what the word "suffrage" meant until I noticed a movie named after it.  After digging up a carrot or two, I learned that it's a movie about some events from way back in Nineteen-twelve, about women who were fighting for their right to vote.
A third carrot even gave me the setting of the movie, England.  Interesting.
It says it had a budget of fourteen million, okay, let's compare that with the Max at, one hundred and fifty million (what is that, about ten times more.!?)
"Suffragette" (IMDB link: ) had no trailers that I ever saw, no one held that spoon to my mouth, not even once.
Looking at the cast list, I can see none that I recognize (oh wait, that Helena Bonham Carter chic, I think I know her from, somewhere...)
Whereas without looking it up, I can recall the beautiful Charlize Theron is in the Max, how could a male with a pulse forget her, she was the chic from Hancock and The Burning Plain and yeps, I'll take her without the sugar any day right (she was also the queen in the Snow White and the Huntsman and if you're a male and didn't see the milk bath scene, look that thing up right now, those are some yummy mushes right there.)

If you want to complain that the movie you digested is not so good for you, not so good for others, our children, the future of the human race, well okay, I'll listen and agree.
But remember who opened their mouth in the first place, and who pushed play on their remote.

(No offense from me ever Nik, I love your writing and I think the world needs more of it, smiles from the west huh.)

Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Me, a Bad Guy..?

I think I may have been too harsh, is that the word..?
Sometimes I get all fired up and excited in a direction and bam, there I go.
It's only later when I look back and see my path of destruction that I realize I went into "horns down" mode again huh Bishop.
I am, after all, only an Aries and it says I'm "enthusiastic".

I typed some things recently about guns, wars, immigrants, religions, yeah, my list is rather long there eh...
And honestly, it was the best I could do at the time, such as it always is and that's not my excuse, it's my reason.
But after pondering it for a bit more, I think I've found a way we can make the bad people of this world, forgive and move on in a positive direction.
I think we have something we can offer them that they can't turn down.
With all their drugs and money and virgins in their afterlives, I think we might be able to convince them, if we but tried, to lay down their fightings and live like civilized people for the duration.
And now that I think about it for a moment, it doesn't seem all that implausible.

What if, now hear me out, what if, quiet quiet..!
We offered them a nice above ground house, complete with picket-fence yard of finely cut sod, three bedrooms and two baths with an attached garage, a mid size in the parking lot and, ready, a job...
What if we let them build their own power plants and run electricity to their homes, we gave them a source of clean water and let them build schools and hospitals...
What if each bad guy could just pick you know, where he wants to live and we'll deposit their ready-to-go homes (built in America, and elsewhere), and in exchange for this "set you up for life" coupon, all you need to do is turn in your guns and promise not to be a bad guy anymore.
If you want to live where someone else has already claimed, you have to throw dice or draw straws or "something random" to determine if you get that dude's spot or not but this can only happen once a year so you're gettin' at least a year if you're lucky and you picked a nice spot.
Otherwise you have to live down the street from where you wanted, you know, gotta wait your turn and all, mabes that guy's eyein' a new spot himself.

So there it is, no more guns, no more fighting for "holy land", everybody has their space, their drugs and virgins as long as they keep it in their homes, everybody has a reason to want to live, mabes they could have friends or eat pizzas...

How could anyone, anywhere, want to crash themselves with a plane into a building again for some "holy war" when there's a cool six pack of beers at home in the fridgey waitin'..?
Mabes a good football game on the tele, what else do people want?

Hey what else do I want...
While we're at it though, hum, I had somethin' there, where'd it go...
Ope, yeps.
I think if we're giving the bad guys a great life in return for not bein' "bad" anymore, what is it exactly...  we're giving the good guys..?

And some of that stuff sounded fairly good Bishop, especially the hot tub part (wait, there was no hot tub part..?  Are you sure 'cause I pictured a hot tub there...  humph.)
I think if me and mine don't get the hot tub er, house (and that job part sounded really good too...)
Well I think I might decide all the sudden that I'm a bad guy too.  Wouldn't you..?

And all my friends are bad guys too..!
And, while we're at it, can't we just give everybody this deal, mabes come up with a snazzy title, something like "the American Dream", that's sounds pretty cool huh.
I mean, is there enough space on the earth's surface or, I get that nobody's gonna want to live on Mount Gongga (it's in China, no offense Chinese).
Each person gets a hundred yard, okay meter for my British friends, hundred by hundred plot of land with house and car and job (and hot tub).
Everybody's happy right, no more fighting and shooting..?

And you know, I thought it's too bad this couldn't actually happen right, perfect harmony and crap huh.
Then I had this slowly-growing-brighter bulb in the darkest places of the corners of my noodle.  That got brighter.  And it said "hey, Bishop, can you hear me Bishop, I know it's late and all but, yeah, listen!  It's me!"
And I said okay, okay little bulb, what is it.
And it replied, hey, remember not too long ago, you were typin' all about a guy, remember?
And it continued because of course, I didn't remember.
Yeah, you wrote about how this guy was gonna do some stuff, people either liked it or didn't.
And yeah, okay, wait a minute, I do think I remember something like that, yeps, silent night bell a'ringin.
What was his name, do you remember his name little light bulb..?

And then it sorta smacked me.  Mr Donald Trump.
Yep, here's a guy that might just be able to offer the American Dream to the bad guys of the world.
Here's someone who could help, could make a real difference in how much hate and blood the world has all over its hands...
And he wants to build a wall.

It makes me think about all those Mr Trumps out there.  The ones that have the power and refuse to use it for good.
It makes me wonder if all their hot tubs and cars are "worth it".

Then it makes me wonder if Mr Donald Trump decided he wanted to give the American Dream to just the ISIS bad guys but couldn't afford to give to all the others.  If it left him broke and homeless because he gave all he had for millions of others to live good lives.
It makes me wonder if I would take him in if he were at my doorstep.  If I would give him half of my dinners at night and let him sleep in my bed every other night.
It makes me question what am I supposed to do with my life and if I ever became rich, would I help out those who weren't.
Would I forget where I came from...

If every rich person in the world, split their money equally for all people born after the year two thousand, would we have enough money for everyone's American Dream?
Would there be no more violence and wars and killing over stupid s*it?
Because mabes we could create some new form of "insurance".
We all pay so there's no chance that one of our kids could be in a school when a bad guy shows up.
Rich or poor, I'm thinkin' I'll pay little light bulb.

On Your Front Porch...

Recently, one of our upcoming presidential candidates made the "big news" headlines for a statement he made on a very debatable current topic.
His "news" if you haven't seen it already, centered around this quote delivered from a aircraft carrier near South Carolina...
Mr Donald Trump - " calling for a total and complete shutdown of Muslims entering the United States until our country’s representatives can figure out what the hell is going on,”

In case you can't make sense of the legal mumbo jumbo, basically this guy is promoting a "do not enter" sign on America's borders for any and all Muslims.
This really shouldn't come as much of a surprise given that one of his earlier "do not enter" signs was posted on the Mexican border, exciting all kinds of Hispanics, both living in Mexico and those residing in America.

It seems this kind of statement is an easy one to dislike, people are already declaring Mr Trump unfit to run.  As in, he isn't even allowed to compete for votes because his stance "breaks the constitutional rights of immigrants".
Which feels believable to me, if you can't honor the current system, how can we let you lead us right.
But it's this current system that I've spent so much time typing about lately so mabes it's time I give it another go round eh.

How long do you embrace a system that is not working?  When is it time to say okay, enough of the old ways, we need some new..?
But a bigger issue seems to trump that statement (get it?)
As much as we all don't want to admit it, our country is at war.  It's probs time we accepted that eh.
Our enemies are certainly calling it a war.  They've had over twenty thousand bombs dropped on their lands recently (twenty thousand, can you imagine that..?)
Other countries are clearly at war with this enemy.
How long can we keep denying it?
If we are killing them and they are killing us, what kind of semantics dance are we trying to perform here, the twirls just aren't the same huh.

And if we are indeed, "at war" (which seems pretty hard to dispute at this point right), do we employ the same policies that we have in the past toward our enemies?
I am only almost forty years old but I can sorta remember some wars from back in my day.
And one of the things that sorta stands out in my noodle, was that we didn't, during those wars, allow their warriors to come to our lands and kill us.
Is that right and wait a minute Bishop, let me digest this a little slower, it's been a while since we've been "at war" (mabes we thought we out-grew it once upon a time...)

You mean to say, that you think the bad guys should stay on their land and the good guys on theirs and they should only attack each other on a "neutral site"..?
And okay, I can possibs understand if you put it into football terms...
This is like when the Ohio State Buckeyes want to play for the championship, they aren't allowed to play in their home stadium because that would create an unfair advantage.
They also can't play in their opponent's stadium for the same reason so they end up throwin' down in Texas because there's no good teams in Texas (oh yeah, makes sense now...)

So what Mr Trump is really trying to say, is that there doesn't seem to be an alternative.
The first part of the equation says - we are at war.  Yep, confirmed.
The second part says - we should allow our enemy to come to our house and fight?
And okay, you've got a problem with allowing the enemy to cross our borders?  Why?
We cross their borders all the time.  We even fly above their weapons range and drop bombs that they have no hope of defending against.
We enter their lands to fight them all the time, don't we?

(And okay, before you get all technical, I understand that our policy has been "no boots on the ground" and I can accept that.  But the situation is still the same.  If we want to go over their armed to the teeth, will they let us just walk right in and start shooting?)

Because anyone who wants to slam Mr Trump and compare him to Hitler, anyone who thinks they know better or are "better" than that,  I challenge you to provide a better policy.
I challenge you to feel safe if Mr Trump buys a bunch of plane tickets for the ISIS warriors, supplies them with guns and bombs and, here it comes, ready?
They are delivered right to the front door of America, to the steps of the White House.

Now, opponents of Mr Trumps position, you would have no problem accepting these drug fueled suicidal bombers on your doorsteps?
People, we're not fighting fair and we haven't for a long long time!
How are you going to preach that you're high and mighty and better than those that have to make a tough decision while your head is being detached from your shoulders by an ISIS fighter with a rusty blade?

I know there are Muslims living in America right now that shouldn't be forced out.  I know there are good Muslims living here right now because I know some of them, I'm friends with some of them.
So my solution to their problem is simple.
If you want to enter our country during a time of war with your own people or your home country or your religion...
Change the name of your religion.  Change the name of your ancestors.
I already see people marching in demonstrations.  Muslims and Mexicans and everything in between.
They're calling out their brethren, they are trying to distance themselves from being associated with "the bad guys".  And I don't blame them.
If my Ohio State Buckeyes suddenly started slaughtering innocent people, I would have to stop wearing their colors and I should announce to the world that I am no longer a Buckeye supporter (whoof, hard to type that huh...)

The point is, if you want to come live in our country, where we fight to protect ourselves and our loved ones, claim you are of a different religion on the questionnaire.  Trim your beard, lose the coverings.
If you want a leader that won't close borders during a war, don't plan on staying long because soon our lands will be just as dangerous and ruined as yours.

I am not a supporter of Donald Trump (I have no money).
In my forty years of being an American, I have never voted, not once (although I might break my record if he's allowed to run).
I dislike politics on an unimaginably large scale, I don't support our government and believe it is time we shredded that constitution.
I believe in freedom of speech and religion and if you want to come to my country and peacefully practice your weirdness, I'm totally cool with that.

But these are special circumstances that require special actions to be taken.
I can see the logic in denying the enemy's soldiers access to our homes.
I can understand the closing of borders to protect ourselves, please understand that we are reacting to actions that have been taken against us.
Mr Trump's policy would not have my support if we weren't at war.
When the dust settles and the good guys have finally won, once and for all, our borders should be thrown open for all, as they should be.
Until then, if you're a refugee trying to escape a war torn country, try to wait in a neutral country for a bit, try to understand that we're sorry.

Monday, December 7, 2015

To the Death...

As Americans, we have a reputation.
It's not a very nice one, it's sometimes something we probs should be ashamed of.  But I didn't contribute to it and I can't change it.
The best I can do is accept it for what it is you know.
When the world sees another crazed American with guns shooting and killing, they think "ah, those stupid Americans again" eh.
I can't blame 'em for assuming, it's usually a pretty safe assumption.

When or if, knowledge comes to light that it was a foreign attack, an act of terrorism, someone else's "crazed bad guys", I don't expect an apology for the implications that everything was our own stupid faults (again).
I can't defend my country or it's idiots at all, I won't even try and that's quite a statement from a guy that honestly enjoys challenging himself at every opportunity.
To jump on the other side of the fence feels so much easier but it's not very positive huh...
Yes Americans are stupid, lazy, violent, primitive.  Yes there is a large population of people that probs belong in a mental hospital of one type or another.
Yes, we have some bad guys that we can't seem to fight.
But then, other places in the world have those too right, "bad" guys..?

And if we're in the discussion that it is "the bad guys" versus "us", could we study the issues a little further if we tried..?
Challenge accepted.

Brush aside the religious aspect for a moment, nutters are going to be nutters.
Push the wealth perspective out too, yes some people will always be the haves and some the have nots, I get it, it sucks (I happen to be one of the have nots...)
Cross of the mental handicaps, some people are just broken that way it seems (I could blame some parents here but humans are, after all, only human...)
Eliminate the "everything" until we get to the real roots of the junk.  There are people with weapons and they want to hurt others.

These are people who have fought and killed their entire lives.  Think about that for a second.
Children who watch adults beat and rape each other on the side of the road while walking to fetch water from a dirty river.
Children who are forced into combat as soldiers.
Children who grow up with only an estranged god on their side and if somehow they do survive, they are anger filled puppets with no real knowledge of an alternative.
This is their life.  Fight and kill or be killed where you stand.
It is a war and believe it or not, we are already included by default.

A bad person (a truly sad person) has a weapon and wants to hurt you, your family members, your loved ones.
These people break every rule or law in their path, to achieve their objectives.  They will not stop until they are dead or imprisoned (and even then, they'll work really hard to break out and fight some more).

So you want to protect yourself and the ones you care about.  You might not want to fight back, but a solid defense is definitely desirable huh.
And you want to protect yourself with, brace for it, here it comes and it's gonna be a biggie...
More rules and laws.

You want to fight the bad guys, the people who already ignore every law and rule (rule number one:  Don't kill your fellow humans!)
With more "regulation" and laws..?

As my British friend recently pointed out, our government has a history of making laws regardless of what it's people want.
We thought at one time that alcohol was bad, we made a law and you know what happened?
People wanted their alcohol and they got it anyway, they ignored the rules (some even carved their own little empires out of prohibition...)
So after realizing our mistake, we changed the law to allow alcohol to be "legal" again.
We also tried (and are still trying) to outlaw drugs of all types and kinds and you know, that one's still not working very well.  Our people still get what they want don't they.

And really, when a population wants to break the law and the government wants to force them, what happens?  Our prisons fill to the bursting point and "somebody" has to concede.
Remember that reputation of Americans again, well we seem to have a big problem conceding "anything" to anyone, like ever right.
I spoze it's a good thing that we've got lots of space just layin' around, we should probs build a wall around Montana and just make it the new Australia prison state...

People, we're trying to fight the rule breakers with more rules and hoping that will work.
Is there anyone out there that honestly thinks this will work or accomplish anything real?
Please, I'm lookin' for an alternative here and if anybody has one, do type some stuff in the comments section..!

Otherwise the decision is fairly clear to me as it should be to many others.
There is no room for "talking", there is no negotiations, no "deals".
We must fight gun wielding idiots with vigilance and guns of our own and no pity filled emotions.
If we gave every bad guy a choice between fighting their enemies or putting down their weapons and actually trying to work towards something productive, how many would choose?
How many already have.

I am very sorry, I don't want to be the bad guy for my words.  I don't want the giant target on my house...
If any bad people out there can justify their actions and explain to me just what the crap you're fighting so hard for, hey, I'm here, I'm waiting and start typing.
Otherwise, I think it's clear.  Bad people, whether foreigns or domestics, need to go.  The tainted part of their religion needs to go.  Their children need to go and we need to set such a horrific example here that all others considering the life of a bad person need to see what we are capable of when it comes to cleansing our species.
I am not racist.  I am not sexist.  I don't look down on any religion or political belief except when they are tools used to hurt with.
I am actually a very humble, very caring guy but if you want to shoot people for whatever reason, you are my enemy and I only fight in one fashion.

Saturday, December 5, 2015

Smiles Part Two...

The following is a direct response to what was written here...

Wow, it is a personal honor to be mentioned, words can't describe.
I feel like such a little spec on the huge scope of the world sometimes that, to be typed about, yep, it makes little goosebumps run up the back of my neck, 'tis...  humbling.
I have to go on record to say that everything that Nik types, I agree with.  My comment was "Much applause" and here I am again, standing and golf clapping in a generally easternly direction.
It's a big topic and there is lots of room for discussion, I applaud all that want to contribute.

I should probs declare my political "stance" at this point, it seems to be an important aspect to my perspective and oh, I feel such pressure sometimes...
I cannot support the American government.
It is overblown, inflated, pathetic, I vote that we scrap the whole thing and "revise".  I am a non participant.
We can't crank out laws to govern internet gambling in a timely fashion, we can't get right with a national health care system and the web site's a complete disaster, we can't globally "police" anywhere because every citizen in our country can illegally download movies and video games, not to mention music and books.
Our system of government is as stagnant as the Catholics.
We refuse to learn, refuse to change, we fight ourselves when there's no one else.
Our ability to adapt with the times is less than satisfactory.  Will we ever be better at adapting?  Only when we're forced out of our lazy habits.

I think I only have about seven to ten readers of this blog site, I cherish you all by the way and thank you for considering me in your reading habits.
If you wanted to send me and mine some plane tickets someday Nik, we would love to have lunch with you (and Dan) and talk about all kinds of stuff but I enjoy the exchange nonetheless...

I support intelligence for everyone.  If this means you know how to acquire a gun and use it for your defense, I support you.  Weapons do not hurt people, ideas kill people and I want you to question your ideals for a moment and ask yourself, "am I doing what's best for all?"
Because if you're not, if you're hurting people for no reason other than "an ideal", please know that what they promised you is a lie and doing good in this world is so much better rewarded than doing bad.

There is a point where religion and political beliefs are used to shape us and it is not an easy one to recognize.  Our media shows us one window but it is not the only.
Your job as a human, is to look at the other side before committing to violence of any kind, you must see how your pain does not contain innocents.
Let it be known, that anyone can take the life of an innocent.  It is not a heroic or "prime time" event.  Anyone can smuggle a weapon into a movie theater, a church or a school.
Anyone can fight at the weakest element and win and it can be viewed as pathetic, pitiful, cowardly.
If you want to fight, hit where it matters.
You have to fight dirty to be celebrated in the news..?
Let's make a pact and say, no more media on the shootings...
This way, we're not giving them what they want, the attention.
No "news" channel shall promote or run a story about gun violence hurting people.
Do the rest of us "miss out" on our news cast when there's no news of a mass shooting?  Do we hunger for that type of news story..?
Do we "feel good" about telling the story of a bad guy, do we embrace it?
Do we want to know because it will cause us to get off our lazy butts and want to vote against gun rights..?
Or hand grenade rights, nuclear backpack rights, drone anthrax sprayers...
Humans being humans...

I don't think there's a way we can stop hurting ourselves.
I think it may have been programmed into the emotions.
To take away the random sense of violence, to make us all feel "safe", it is anathema to our cores.
We are a violent people and we will always be I think.

Live like it is your last day here.  Cherish the people around you as if you had to spend your whole afterlife with them.
I cherish our exchange Nik, big fat thanks and if we never meet, I hope we can hang out in the afterlife (with Dan of course).

Thursday, December 3, 2015

Equal Power for All...

The following is a direct response to what was written here...

Boy, does it feel like the Thanksgiving season to you too..?
I think I might be full believe it or not, my stomach's so full of these beefy topics lately, I don't know if I can handle one more...
Mabes a quick undoing of the ole pants belt, ah, yeps, okay, I'll cram one more in there but that's it 'til New Years alright?

The Guns Issue, where would we be without it.
Yes we have a culture, I'm an American born and raised by the way, yes it's a fairly unique culture full of bad guy heroes.
Yes we have some emotional issues, some neglect for our kids and their feelings and some people that just want to hurt others for attention.
Yes as well, the people that commented on your blog Nik, Dave and Jeff (I especially liked the kids on the playground analogy, woopt!)
Well they made great points and I can't help but agree with most of 'em.

But we're forgetting the scope of this mess, it's probs too big to really ever fully imagine, even if we're trying really hard.
We're assuming that "one day", "someday", the people of our world will "wake up" and realize that they don't want to live in fear forever.
Or that if there's enough bloodshed or enough fear, that people will change or stop or mabes, I know right, "learn".
But humans don't work that way and there is no "limit", no finish line where the change must occur (look at the holocaust and how that continues to happen in some parts of the world today).

We have kids that grow up in gang cultures listening to pro violence music and desensitizing videos (video games too...)
We have people who have nothing to lose and will fight for even the most stupid, meager possession.
And, if we could step back for a second, we could realize that it takes a ton more energy than we are willing to spend, to properly care for the world's children.
How's that for you, how does that sit in your species' pride?  We can't even be bothered enough to raise our own children properly.
And honestly, if we can't educate and care for our own children, how can we ever expect to "control" something like a deadly weapon (might as well throw in deadly drugs too eh...)

We can't.  Plain and simple.
We could, take away every gun from every citizen everywhere, every time we found 'em.  We could dump every gun of all size and shape in a giant incinerator, we could "outlaw" them.
Then all the bad guys would have guns and hence, all the destructive power they could ever want while the rest of us have nothing.
But that's one side of the fence huh, take away all guns.
The other side, well it would involve giving every citizen their own gun and a year's worth of ammo.
Every child past the age of six gets their very own gun, it's got their name on it, it's even got a thumbprint identifier on the handle so that if the proper owner is not holding their thumb to it, the gun won't fire.
Every old person has their gun, again, name's inscribed with gold lettering on the barrels, thumb id print activator.

Then, think about it for a second.  Every single person you see has a gun on them.
In schools, in churches, in stores, movie theaters, your own living rooms.
In fact, the only people who didn't have guns were those that chose not to.  Praps their gun is upstairs in their closet or mabes they stuck it in a safe in the basement.
But their right, their protection, is always there.  You have the right to be as powerful as your attackers, if possible.

My kids have a school handbook that describes in detail, every illegal object that is not allowed on school property.
After looking at it for a bit, my twelve year old son says, "so, they don't have crossbows on the list".
Meaning, of all the things, you could walk into the front door of your school with a fully loaded quarrel and crossbow and no one could tell you it was "against the rules".
More fully meaning, rules will always be rules and people will always be people.  And well, people are pretty good at finding ways around the rules right.

To chose a perspective that is anywhere in the "middle ground" here is total stupidity.
Imagine a person walking into a school and simply drawing their handgun.  As soon as that thing's raised, everybody else in the room has pulled theirs and two old ladies have accidentally fired, killing the original gun drawer before they had time to speak.
Imagine a world where we don't need police officers because the people solve their own problems.  All we'd need is extra body-carry-outers and some clean up details.

But okay Bishop, I hear your logic but won't that kind of world be extra painful on everybody, all that death and tragedy..?
And my answer, yeps.  It sure will.  I might shed a tear or two in anticipation right now.
But I would also feel a sense of hope.  Because after the world has cleansed itself, perchappers there won't be a need to hurt each other with violence someday.
Perhaps our kids will see how truly horrible real blood and guts on the streets is, and change their perspectives.
And just mabes, "somehow", the bad guys will grow a sense of fear because they now longer have all the power.  Or they'll all be shot to death.

Ponder this for a moment while I load my knock out punch...
Any messed up kid looking for attention and wanting to hurt people so they get noticed, "glamorized killing", would have all of about three minutes worth of attention before they were shot to death.
No media circus, no pictures on every tv, no Oprah show interviews.
If you want to hurt someone and you think shooting is the answer, you will be shot to death by your peers and fellow humans.  The second after you shoot your gun in anger.
No hostage situations, no negotiations, no struggles and arrests, no trials, no lawyers with plea bargains of insanity, no airplane hijackings, no jail time...
Just a big fat firing squad from all directions as your body is shredded by hot metal.  The end.
And by the way, there's so many cleansing killings right now that your name isn't made famous, you're not even a single line in the outdated newspaper, you're not a fly on the wall nor a mention at the local church you used to attend.
Just another human life that needed to be forgotten for all time, goodbye.

Now did that soften you up a bit, 'cause I've got my big guns ready.  I vote that if we give every legal citizen a gun on their sixth birthday, people would think twice about kidnapping and raping a poor little girl on her way home from school.
People would think twice about driving recklessly for fear of another driver's retaliation.  The humans would slowly grow, ready for it, friendlier.

Crime would crawl to a halt, cheating spouses would cease altogether (because even if your significant other "suspected", you would be shot while eating your tv dinner...)
Punishments would be quick and final, education would be easy (you mess up, you get shot, it's not a big equation).

When my sons were younger, occasionally they would fight over the video game system, the computer or the tv show they wanted to watch.
If I heard the argument, I would not take a side.  I'd simply say, "figure out how to share or I'm taking your power cords."
And they soon figured out that if they couldn't work it out by themselves, that I'd leave them with a tv that couldn't turn on, a computer that wouldn't power up, a game system that was more like a paperweight.
Because the penalty was so severe, the compromises were achieved.
Fear is a great motivator but we're trying to use it on people who are already scared.  We need to take the fear to the bad guys as in, you mess up once and you're shot.

But hey, I'm a fairly smart guy, I can see the path we're going down huh...
I propose that when the fear wears off from the "everybody has guns", we give everyone a hand grenade or seven.
Then mabes it could become a mini-nuke backpack with a thumb depressor that would level a whole city block should someone feel upset or hurt.

I would like to thank everyone for reading what is a very difficult topic, for me, for you and for everyone else.
I would like to send my honest feelings to anyone who has lost a family member or friend to gun violence.  I would be fine with my sons being shot to death if it would be in the hopes of the world becoming a better place.
After all, we send our soldiers to fight the enemy overseas, why should I feel any different about fighting on our own soil.
I don't.  Dying is still dying but can't we do it for a truly good reason once in a while.

I am also encouraging anyone out there, to comment and show me where my flaw is, poke holes in my bubbles, criticize and critique, please.
If we could somehow get the rest of the world on the same page, just mabes we can make an actual difference.
Share this article with people, point them at my words and challenge them to dispute my logic, please, I don't get paid a single cent for this web site, there are no ads here.
I have no motivation other than the need to make the world we live in, stop hurting ourselves.

Also, in case you're wondering just what kind of messed up human the Bishop really is, I want to tell you that I have never owned my own gun nor do I plan on it, ever.
A gun to me, is too easy to place in my mouth and escape this funked up world with so I distance myself from them in order to remain here, fighting the good fight.
I fight with my words.

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

The Burning Option...

The following is a direct response to what was written here...

Crikey, what a topic..!
I think this one's probably had dictionary-sized books written about it, possibs by your Oxford people...
Probs by people who are much smarter than us, who have spent lifetimes trying to understand why humans do and act, the way they do.
And the final chapters in all those books, probs say something sorta like this:
Our language is too simple to explain the way humans work.
Think about it.
We have twenty six little letters and words that mean more than one thing to more than one group of people, always.
How can we "get on the same page" and understand any type of explanation?  How can we accept any excuse or reason?
We can't, don't even try or you will spend your whole life trying to learn something that can't be learned.

But let's imagine we could actually understand each other for just a minute.  I mean, I'm game, it's a rainy Tuesday and I've nothin' better to do for a bit eh.
Let's pretend that two people who have known each other their whole lives, two people that have spent every minute together, have shared every thought together, could not be on the "same page" any more...
Let's pretend for a minute that this perfect pair exist and that they can, with a simple gesture, communicate their thoughts and feelings, to each other, perfectly.
But real quick like, did you picture this couple as a man and a woman, two women, two men, an adult and a child, two old farts in an old folks home..?

It doesn't really matter because this super duo would be way beyond anything the rest of us could ever accomplish.  And they'd want to share their super powers, they'd want to tell others how they did this and their ability to communicate on a heightened scale would be off-the-charts, exceptional.
It would spread, mabes slowly at first but it would, like enhanced evolution.
There would be the people of "one mind" and those "all alone" and "eventually", the one-minds would overpower the rest and god herself would descend from heaven and declare the game officially over huh.

So we're humans, I'm sorry.  We're "single minds", yeps.  We're stuck with a horrible representation of a language and we don't really have many people who want to be better, to learn more or to "try" harder.
We're sorta stagnant in our laziness, praps we don't feel like we have to work harder because hey, what do I want from my life..?
A soft couch to sit on, a big tv to stare at, alcohol and drugs to numb me, pizza delivered to me and a toilet built in to my sofa so I don't have to move, mabes a vibrate function...
Why should I, or anyone else for that matter, want to work real hard to make the world a better place for all those lazy humans out there..?

But let's go a different route for a little bit, you're depressing me with your negative perspective there Bishop...
And okay, let's see...
Humans like to judge, it's important for us.  If a fire will warm us but also burn if we're too close, we need (and want) to judge that fire "harmful".
If another human approaches and wants to be warmed by the fire, we will yell out "hey, watch out, that fire will burn you!" right?
If there's some skepticism, mabes we'll offer a clarifier in, "you know, if you get too close."
But how close is "too" close?  Does it translate to inches or those funny centimeters..?
Does it matter if the direction is from the side of the fire or directly on top?
And if you can step back a second and really see my analogy for what it is, can you see that we'd need to write a healthy sized book containing all we know and suspect about fires if we wanted to protect someone from being burned?
And, just for hypotheticals, wouldn't it make slightly more sense just to let that human touch the fire and get burned a little, you know, instead of writing the book?

There there, not as depressing right?  Now step back from my fire, I'm gonna do a little dance and it should be entertaining, you know, as long as I'm not bumping you into that fire.
Let's assume for a minute that someone out there, let's say "me" for example, just for a second...  Let's say I have already written a book about how to tell if people are "good" or "bad".
I've dedicated a couple of years of my life, described in horrific detail the meanings of the words "good" and "bad" (because even they aren't the same to every reader...)
I've broken down every single little step about how to "read" people, including the distances required and the angle of interceptions (really, just like my fire remember?)
So here it is, it's massive, I wrapped it in the world's biggest tortilla and dipped it in melted cheese in case you get hungry while cuddled up with it in front of the fireplace some night.
On the cover is the suggestions "Ages 13 and up" (you know, 'cause there's some adult content) and "Estimated length of reading, 2 years".

But hey, if you want to really crank that puppy out in six months, well it's possible if you don't need to sleep right.
So here it is, the answer to one of the toughest questions on the planet AND..!
It's free!  The best part huh, no need to indenture your future children, no loans from banks or mortgaging your boats.
I'm giving it away because I want the people of the world to be better to each other, I want them to have better, happier lives and produce better children so that someday we can all "graduate" when the universal gig is up.

So...  the only real issue left is...  will you read it?
Well of course you will right?  You're reading my words right now aren't you..?
But okay, I'll concede for a moment and let you hear from others who have read my work.
The "others" that have read my work have claimed it to be brilliant.  It's funny, it's honest, it's crucially informative and it makes a great wrecking ball if you ever need to do some home remodeling, knock down a wall for "an addition" you know.
But they all say the same thing happened, in the end.  Having all that information and experience handed to them, well...
They looked and looked and couldn't find a "good" guy or a "good" girl.
With my best descriptions and explanations and "excuses", no humans fit into the "good" mold.

So you might be better off getting burned.  And you might have to lower some expectations.  And this is getting depressive again isn't it...

We need to judge, it's important.  We want to judge and tell others our judgements.  We really have to judge and we can never honestly stop.
But we have to also remember one really significant concept for a bit.
Good people, doing good things, are completely invisible upon a first glance.
In fact, there might be good people all around you right now, doing good things and you don't even notice 'em.  And the sad part is, you haven't noticed 'em in a long, long time.
Because our minds are "problem based".  We look at the flaws, the faults, the errors with a microscope.  We get excited when we can firmly place blame and we line up to watch heads being chopped with a guillotine.
Can we really blame those that want to stay home glued to their couches watching tv their whole lives?  Can we really tell them to come out and play with us heartless bastards who just love to throw stones?

Not too often is someone's good deeds studied with a microscope.  Sometimes a human will do something amazing in soldier combat and we hear their stories in our news, they're given medals or recognition and fancy ceremonies.
Because they saved some fellow soldiers or they sacrificed or they killed a bunch of other humans fighting what our government has labeled "the enemy".
How many times do we see on the Oprah show, a married guy that went to a local bar, had an opportunity to cheat on his wife with three strippers and, declined.
How many times do we celebrate a single father who refused to send his child to day care so that he could spend real quality time with his offspring, teaching 'em and honestly caring about them?
How many times do we stop a vehicle on the road to thank them for handing that homeless guy on the side of the road at the previous intersection some money?

If you're looking for good people and can't find them, you're probably not looking very hard.
If you're looking for bad people and they're everywhere, well you're probs looking too hard.
If you think you know a good person, explain how you measured and display your proof.
Explain how you've witnessed this person doing good things when given an opportunity to do bad when no one's watching.  Or how you know that when they dream at night, it's not about having sex with others or fighting someone.

There's an expression that describes not judging someone until walking a mile in their shoes.
But I think in order to truly "judge" in the fullest sense of the word, we have to walk every mile in their shoes.

We can't live without others in our lives, those couch potatoes trying to live through social medias are not really, sadly, living.
We can't live without fire and we'll never take away it's ability to burn us.
The best we can ever really do is try to maintain a positive perspective, try to be understanding and sympathetic to others.
And enjoy some warmth before the burning.

Sunday, November 15, 2015

Worlds to Live in...

We live in many worlds.
I look at one of my personal typing heroes, Mr Dan Abnett and what he created, little universes of his own playgrounds, and if I met him one day I would have to ask, how do you "exist" in multiple places at the same time on a daily basis like that...
Or a George Lucas when he was dreaming up Star Wars, how do you "live" in this world, with the rest of us, and still occupy enough of "the other world", in the same lifetime..?
How do you squeeze it all in or, if you or anyone else could claim, how do you abandon your fleshy person in sacrifice for the non fleshy person for a while.
But I think I already know the answer.

It's because we all do it, everyday of our lives, all the time.  We "compartmentalize" is that what they call it?
We take little emotions and events and we put them in little imaginary boxes in our noodles, then look back on them fondly or negatively (sometimes neutrally).
Now that I think about it, even if I take the "writer" out of myself, I must still live in about six worlds, possibs seven.
Let's see if I can list them all...

I have a real sexual style that has it's own playground, not to mention the sex with my wife so there's two right.
I have a world where if I'm sittin' on the toilet, I'm readin' a book for a minute or two and if my current book's any good, well I'm in there right, "somewhere" it's in my mind, three eh.
I have, believe it or not, a whole separate world dedicated to the Ohio State Buckeyes and their methodic system of annilating their competition, yep there's a whole world there I think...
I also have a very competitive side that seems to have it's own world because when I watch a very popular UFC fighter Ronda Rousey, lose her first ever in Australia well, I cringe inside, she was so awesome, did so much, rose so high and to see that, yep, I'm a long haired man and I can be quite a hard ass on my kids sometimes but I can admit it, I do have a soft side that died a little bit on my insides you know.
I can also side with all her haters who just had to throw their two cents in, to the whole negative side of the scales, it's important for some people to criticize a dominant, glowing figure I get that but I'm not countin' it as one of "my worlds" huh, only five so far.

I think my sixth world, and these were never in order of "importance" right, my son and his mother and how I handle our day to day lives, they're important, bills must somehow be paid and all.
I'm quite a video game player and when they unleashed the Fallout Four, well it's a wishing well on top of a pool of quicksand to me, I fall in and it's hard to escape in the next seven months or so, that's gotta be seven huh.
I sometimes think I might be an alcoholic but mabes I won't count that one.

Maybe the question is not, to our universe-creating-heroes or our spouses, how many worlds are you living in...
Perchappers the question is, which world are you living in right now.

Monday, November 9, 2015

The Place for Links...

Okay, I know, I know, I've been sorta busy, I'm sorry...
Reading Nik's self published book Addled Kat has left me with some, ahem, stuff to do eh...

I've been inspired though, now if I could just turn it into some motivation...
Until then, I thought I'd self publish some of my older stuff, you know, just in case you were bored and needed something new and interesting to read.
These are two blogs I started oh, mabes a year or two ago.  They're both fairly "different" and were part of my "oh let's see if we can make this work" phase...

The Movie of All Movies...

Crazy Sense Time...

With both of these sites, you have to look for the little button "Next" at the bottom right (or, you know "More Crazy")...
I tried to make these buttons bigger, more stand outty but couldn't figure it out and left it huh.

Monday, November 2, 2015

Modern Day Heroes...

The following is a direct response to what was written here...

I feel a little weird admitting this but I didn't actually watch the Avengers movies, either of them.  I tried watching the first one but it was long, I didn't like what I saw in the beginning and assumed the end would be more of the same.
But I should throw out my disclaimer..!
I grew up with a grandparent named Stan Lee, he's like the godfather of the Marvel universe.  I watched the cartoons on Saturday mornings, I borrowed my dad's comic books and read every Avengers starting from numero uno, I read every XMen and everything else I could get my sweaty hands on.
I loved the characters, I loved the art, the stories, the conflicts, you name it, I lived, breathed and died, Marvel.
On occasion, when I wasn't a little boy in a winter jacket for Halloween, I was Captain America with my cardboard shield or Spiderman with the fake web stuff.
No one could claim they loved Marvel more than I, how's that for a disclaimer..!

But a funny thing happened a bit ago.
Marvel started making movies about the characters that I had grown up with, that I had cherished.
I can clearly remember the first X-Men movie from way back in the triple zeros (that's the year two thousand for you old peeps).  I can remember loving it and thinking what an honor it was, to have lived this long, in this world, to be able to watch my favorite heroes come to life.
I remember loving Wolverine and his look, loving the way my son watched with fascination, 'twas a glorious time for all.
I couldn't wait for a sequel but there was a couple of niggling things in the back of my brain and I tired to shut them out but, there they were.
Little details about what I thought "should" have been, should have happened in the movie, that didn't.  I dismissed them and said hey, beggars can't be choosers and if I didn't like the whole movie, well I should get busy making my own, making a better one right.

But the sequel came and I watched with glee once again.  Except, there were even more discrepancies, even more flaws.
Iceman was an original "founding" member of the Xmen and here he is, supposed to be a new kid that came after Wolverine (and Rogue and Storm).
It stung, it really did.  It hurt my special place inside and I wanted to call my mommy and cry.
Why did they do this to these characters I love..?

And the best answer I could come up with, was that they did their best.  They were pressured by "somebody" who said hey, we can't do it this way and we need to change some things.
I chalked it up eventually, to them "trying too hard" to be liked by the new generation.
If the new kids don't care about stories and they just want to see big explosions, give it to 'em right.  They're the ones with the big wads of cash in their hands and hey, I don't have big wads of cash now do I...
So I forgave the makers, I claimed I understood and that was enough for the time being.
But it didn't stop there.
The monster money machine kept rumbling forward, the movies kept coming and the atrocities in my mind, kept doubling.

You can look anywhere on the big bad web for criticisms of the Marvel movies by "the old fans".  It's easy to criticize when it's not your paycheck on the line.
But do I want to watch these movies, do I feel I need them to teach me how to be a good guy, a hero, because they certainly try to hammer that lesson home huh.

Nopers.  I don't want to watch 'em anymore, possibs I'm old.
I'll hang on to the Jean Grey Phoenix I know and remember.  I'll savor Deadpool before he becomes Ryan Reynolds (who was also Green Lantern).
But I can't stop the movies from being made, I can't stop the new generation from liking them and begging for more.

All I can really control is my viewing habits and those of my kids.  When they ask why I don't watch the Avengers, I tell them that I've already watched the Avengers and that I don't want to tarnish that memory with "the new version".
I believe that in their "trying too hard" mode, they will slowly lose fans as more and more of the population understand that the makers of these movies don't really care about your favorite characters.  They don't care about the legacies of those who have come before them.
All they care about is your money and how they can get it from you, and into their pockets.  I explain this to my kids and hopefully they'll explain it to their kids someday.

Everybody with half a brain knows that Disney and (present day) Marvel are not the good role models that they should be.
We can all see how they could be making a positive difference in the world today but they're not because they choose to collect money instead of respect.
If you find that these movies have offended you, for any and all reasons, don't watch 'em anymore.  They're not going to "get any better", they're not going to up and change their positions one day.
They are going to continue their war against you and your money and the only way you can "win", is to not participate and to teach your children, instead of letting Marvel do it.

I fully support you Nik, I agree with your words and your stance on big budget movies slamming women.
But to attack them and to think that they'll ever change, hah, we might as well try to attack the porn industry while we're in "attempting to change things that will never change" mode.
The intelligent people from my generation and younger, well we don't look to Disney or Marvel to learn about how we should treat our women, we have our Dan Abnetts for that.
For all those kids out there that don't have intelligent parents, that don't have someone to teach them about right and wrong and how to treat women, well I wish I could help them, change some things for them but again, I might as well try to extinguish the porn industry or shoot webs from my wrists after being bitten by a spider.

Hey I had never heard of the Bechdel Wallace test, I had to look that one up so I feel like I learned something new today, genuine thanks huh.

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

To Create or not...

I try to consider myself a unique person.
If I suck at a lot of other areas in my life, well I need at least one to reassure me that I'm not completely worthless right.
As I grew through my teenage years, I became quite unhappy about needing to shave my face every day.  I mean, I was a kid that disliked the shower and brushing my teeth, how was I to manage a blade next to my neck on a regular basis...
My creative side kicked in and saved me.  I began shaving in unusual ways, strange patterns, the weirder the better and that made it sorta bearable you know.
If I had a girlfriend at the time that would braid my hair or my goatee, I could stamp that flashing neon sign on my forehead for a day or three, "Unique Bishop Here" you know.
When it comes to the dark nooks in my mind, I believe there's some stuff in there that's truly "one of a kind" huh.
If I'm going to write or tell a story, I don't want someone to ever think oh, that's been done before.  Or oh, he took that right from Harry Potter.
Or the worst stamp a critic can dish out, "Predictable", yeah that one frightens me greatly.

So occasionally, when I'm in "mid flow" and the ideas are arriving fast and loose, I pause and wonder "where the crap did that come from".
And sometimes the answer is scarier than the critics.
Because I honestly don't know where they come from, they're so weird, so foreign, so alien, so "insert adjective here" right.
Sometimes I try to poke 'em back into their rusty cages...

If you've been following my blog for a bit, you probs know that I'm a big fan of Nik Vincent and her blog, her words.
Recently I received my very first comment and can you guess?  Yeps, it came from the one, the only and there was some merry dancing around my computer screen for five minutes or so.

Nik Vincent types -  Brilliant and hilarious! Everything can be a fiction when you're writing fiction, including the sex. Smiles. Fictional characters have fictional sex. The writer isn't a sex freak... the characters just might be, of course...

Now, I can't imagine a bigger compliment (okay, if Mr Dan Abnett created a Ghost named Bishop who happened to be a writer, you know...)
But I can imagine what Nik was trying to say.
And much like all her other interesting words, well it made me pause and have those things again, thoughts...

As in, if you create something, is what you create a reflection of some part of your self or are the two completely isolated?
I don't know much about history but I sorta recall a guy named Albert Einstein creating something.
What he created was eventually used to build an atomic bomb and do we hold that against him because I don't think we do.
If there was one person who suggested we harness that power and use it to obliterate, well they probs kept his name a secret huh.
If Stephen King creates stories that scare us, is he a scary person on the inside or did someone scare him as a child?

To me, I think I've outgrown the whole horror genre.  It must take something special to scare me eh.
I've also noticed over the years that things don't amuse me they way they once did, comedy has lost it's flair, it's spice.
One of my favorite comedy artists, Chris Farley was actually rather unfunny on his inside, or so I've heard.
Are humans really the opposite of what they create?

My older sons work as lifeguards during the summer.  They spend so much time in the sun that when their friends ask if they want to go to the beach, they pass.
I worked at a pizza place for a while and it took me a "long" time before I could smell that and not associate it with work.

Do we slowly grow to despise what we do, what we create on a regular basis?
Did Einstein have other creations that he hid because hey, look what they did with that last one you know.

I've been married to the same wonderful woman for more than a decade and she's the only partner I've had in my bed for what seems like "almost" forever eh.
When I'm bored or in a fantasizing mood, I'll twist some words into sexual pretzels and what's produced is usually something I bury deep in my hard drive because I'm convinved, that I must be "wrong", something in me is broken, normal people cannot conjure this stuff up.

But it pains me because I am the type to constantly challenge myself with what I can (and can't write).
I want to share it and I want people to read it, I don't mind if they don't like it, that doesn't feel too important to me for some reason (lots of people don't like me on a regular basis, I must be used to that...)
I guess I'm afraid of discovering that I really am broken or cursed.  Like right now, I can claim I "might" be "something" and that's okay because there's no confirmation huh.
Throw in a doctor's note or fifteen thousand people cringing and all the sudden, there's no more doubt, the Bishop is insane right.

If I create something, am I responsible for how it's used..?
If I invent the gun, I could claim I wanted people to be able to protect themselves.  If some don't and use it for bad, that feels okay because my original intent was good.
If I write something meant to stimulate a person's sexual feelings, can I really chalk that up to "good intentions"..?

And then the kicker in the nutser, are writers special people because they truly have unique thoughts that not many can have?
Or are they normal people who have somehow found the courage to share what others would not.

If you don't know me or haven't read much of my stuff, you need to know that I am a huge Ohio State Football fan and that our team is the best in the whole land.
Also, we have a band that goes by the name "TBDBITL" (Google that!)
It stands for "The Best Damn Band in the Land" and we pride ourselves at being perfect.
This past weekend, the Ohio State Marching Band flew to London of all places to perform at an NFL football game.  I thought it was an awesome trip for all those kids but also a huge honor, to have been chosen from every other band in the country.
In case you're wondering what makes them so super special, here's a link to the video, Go Buckeyes!

(How's that for brain food?)

Monday, October 26, 2015

The Time and Place...

The following is a direct response to what was written here...

Oh yay, big fat capital letter Y yays all around..!
Self publishing has it's place and I don't think it's a bad one.
It's just different to what we're used to and I think being able to adapt, especially as a writer, well it's fairly important.
I used to laugh at my old man when he told me that vinyl records produce better sound than my silly cassette tapes.
I responded with, well yeah but can your media switch songs in an instant by hitting the "flip sides" button?  Can it fast forward for you to the next song if you'd like to skip one?
(To which my dad would argue that yes, he could switch songs by merely raising his needle and adjusting it and if I had to push a button, who was really winning this argument anyway..?)
Years later when CDs came out, I had the same argument and I think my dad finally gave up on his records.
Nowadays, there are no cassette tapes or CDs or vinyl (unless you're a collector and you like physical media)...
Nowadays it's all digital and at the click of a mouse or a swipe on the device.

Meaning, if books go the same way, there will be no paper sheets bound together by glue and thread, there will be no giant "publishing houses" with their rules and profit percentages.
Their businesses are dying like the dinosaurs as more and more people adapt to the technologies available.

I would like to offer one piece of advice Nik and I'm reminding myself that when I offer advice, it should be as a compliment, like I care enough to share right.
I also remind myself that it shouldn't hurt me, if the advice is not taken (or even listened to).  You're a famous writer and I am a little unheard of guy.
But again, I care so...

Throw the book up on a separate web site.  Don't bury your blog with ninety thousand words of fiction, give it it's own space know what I mean.
If you're not all about the money (yays again), it doesn't need ad space, it doesn't need a view counter, it's a free book, that's all...
Dump it all as one big kerploop (I'm all for page breaks and chapter breaks, you know...)
But what's the point of having to upload "some" twice a week..?
Why not give the people the whole thing in the beginning?

It allows people to read as much or as little at their own pace, it doesn't require them to "check back" or, if they miss a week or two, they don't have to go diggin' through the posts to find where they were...
It's easier on you having to do one (or two) days of work instead of "lots" and it allows you to "move on" and work on other, fresher things, instead of dragging this anchor behind you.
I'm not insulting you or implying that Kat is a dead weight, I'm sure it's awesome and I'll be one of the first to read it (and offer feedback).
But to stretch out "the launch", I don't see much point in it honestly.

Mabes if you were to get people all interested and withhold the last two chapters unless they drop ten pounds (dollars), okay then I see your point (also, please don't do this).
But you want Kat to stand alone, here's the link right.  You don't want to have to tell people someday, that they have to search through a blog site filled with other stuff and that they have to gather all the separate pieces and assemble them like a kid with an Easter basket looking for eggs in the forest.

Also, and mabes here's the noob in me showin'...
I've tried something similar and found that I didn't really like the layout of the blog site, add-a-chapter-here style.
What happens is that the first chapter ends up getting posted first, then it becomes the last page on the site followed by all the rest of the chapters.  When a new person comes along mid story, they have to go all the way to the back and start there, then work their way backwards to where everybody else is currently.
It becomes quite a pain as both a reader and a writer (in my opinion and hey, if you know how to fix this, please send me a message..!)

Again, here's my applause (clapping sound from the west), I support you and look forward to reading, Kat and everything else.
I'll include a link to one of my other blogs that I started a year or so ago, it's very much a short story I wrote and I self published, and "left it there" you know, do share some thoughts if you have them.

Also NOTE!  There are little red words at the bottom of each page, one says "Next" and that's how you have to proceed through the story.  I tried for a while to make the word bigger, more stand outty but couldn't figure it out so, some people are like hey, that's a pretty short story you got there Bishop, one whole page..?
And I have to say oh, hey now, there's actually six or seven pages if you can find the Next button...
Happy Mondays people!

Friday, October 23, 2015

To Write the Right...

The following is a direct response to what was written here...

I thought there might come a time when nothing that Nik could write would surprise me anymore.  I thought surely, there would be a day when all of her topics bored me, praps I just ran out of thoughts, mabes she and I are too different as people, to share the same thought patterns, I don't know because we've never met each other.
But lately, every time I check to see if she's written something new, I'm surprised by the way it compels me, the way it reaches into the darkest corners of my mind and shakes violently.
A topic about sex and writing?  Throw in some Ohio State football and my top three are covered huh.

But I always seem to want to throw out some background first, perchaps as a writer, I struggle with "the setting" as in, I know it's important, it should be a part of my story, but how to fit it in there right, how to make it flow and crap.
In the end I usually just go with my old friend, the colon.  As in, here's my background and stop dancing around the fire with it old man, just sit down already..!

I've been a fan of Dan Abnett's writing since the first Ghosts came out, I've tried to read almost "everything" since (but I'm only one human come on...)
When my son was young (like four), I used to read him the First and Only before bed.  It became a ritual for us to snuggle in his 'ittle bed writing down the names on our list of characters and talking about who was our favorite.
A while later, when he was reading better on his own, I gave him Brothers of the Snake and when he really picked up steam, here's the Eisenhorn trilogy (needless to say my son was reading seventh grade vocabulary in first grade...)
But I took it a step further because I started to notice that he didn't "like" to read at some point.  Tv and video games became his new favorites and books were just too, oh boring daddy, there's no pictures, no colors right.
So I'd read the same chapter that I expected of him, then I'd quiz him on the material to see if he actually read it.
But then I thought, you know, if we're talking about it already, why not take another step in the greater good direction eh.  Why not "study" it..?
My son learned what an ellipse was from Dan Abnett (see the first chapter of Eisenhorn).  He learned how to trick people and manipulate, how to negotiate, how to function in so many ways that if I try to list them all, this post would never end.
He learned simply, how to be the best human he could be, because we took those stories and studied them, we (I), really looked for things that could help shape his mind, his toolbox so to speak.

So after Eisenhorn came Ravenor, then Beta, then the Horus Heresy (just the first four).  Now, with my son twelve years old, I've finally come full circle and assigned him the Ghosts novels.  Back when he was teensy, we only read the first book so this was a chance to rekindle the old memories and complete the series.
After this, I've told him there won't be any more assignments from me, that he will be "free" to choose to read whatever he wants for the rest of his life.
But I still tell him often, when he complains that he wants to watch tv instead, that his school might teach him math and history but his Dan Abnett teaches him life.
And I'm not lettin' him shirk that duty eh.

So his most recent chapter, is number six from Necropolis, I know, it's a classic huh.
And one of the "lessons" that I concocted from that passage (notice how I refer to it like it's a holy book), was that deep down, tucked way inside each of us, is a warrior, a soldier and that all it takes, is someone to come along and try to hurt us or our loved ones and presto, the fighter in us takes over.
Men, women, children, elderly, special people, the lesson is the same.  Never for one second think that someone cannot be a fighter.  It's primal, it's instinctive, it will never leave our beings.
It's almost math, one human, insert threat, equals one fighter ready to kill or be killed.
In case you're completely lost, I'll describe for a minute the context:  Normal citizens living their lives, suddenly bombarded by bad guys, explosions, invasion and poof, normal citizens take up rocks and axe-rakes and fight for their homeland.

My lesson was to illustrate that "anyone" can be powerful, anyone can fight and in this day and age, just about everybody has the strength to pull a trigger.
But it was two fold like always, the first way to inspire and convince a twelve year old that he is powerful, that he can become a warrior someday or even tomorrow if the situation called for it.
And the second way, in defense, in a "don't ever underestimate anyone no matter what" fashion.
I like to study both sides of every coin and just mabes, my son will remember these lessons "someday".
Now, was that enough background for ya..?

All my dancing and fire waving was really for this one set up, ready for it, brace yourselves, it's a good one.
Never for one second think that someone cannot be a writer.

Think about it.  This is one of our more ingrained abilities no?
Cavemen used to write on their walls, our kids are taught in every school how to read and...  write.
Unless you come from a third world nation with snot for education, well reading and writing are all basic skills eh.
It should be a given, all people can write whether it's a grocery list informing us we need more toilet paper or a Harry Potter book, they're just little things made up of words right, and in our language, well there's only what, twenty six different letters..?

Are some people natural born grocery list makers while others are expert word wranglers?  Sure.
Can we take a grocery list and put it in the hands of some exceptional people and make something that someone would actually want to read, not to mention "lots" of someones..?  Possibs.

I'm a popular guy at my local library and I rent an armful of books with every visit.  I've read some really horrible books in my day and I'm the kinda guy that doesn't give up after the first third (or even the second).
I plow through that steamy pile of compost the whole time hoping it will "get better".  When it doesn't, I usually chalk it up to experience as in, now I know what I shouldn't do huh.

I've read my share of sex books.  When I was just a wee sprout, I'd sneak looks at my dad's Playboy collection and after staring at the pictures and doing what young guys do, well I'd spend some time reading the sexy stories, just for kicks you know.

Some seemed really stupid, like the author "tried" too hard.  Others were subtle and tasteful and I'd find myself glancing back at the pictures for a minute.
Many years later (okay, decades), and Playboy has announced it will no longer have pictures in it's magazines as get this, the internet has enough of that already.
Like explaining that we can't make a homemade pizza for dinner tonight because we live right next door to a Pizza Hut and really, how can that compare...

Our world has become one flooded with pornography.  To the point where people are recognizing that there's no more profit in it anywhere because it's "been done".
I'm about six months short of forty interesting years on this planet and I have to admit, that I don't think there is anything new on the sex front that I could ever encounter, I've seen it all I'm afraid.
I mean there's only three working parts, my son's skateboard seems more complicated...
If we wanted, we could construct a "scale" to rank everything about sex into a one through ten style list with one being the most "soft core" and ten being the craziest stuff imaginable.
And if someone liked sex, the act, the viewing, the reading about, would they willingly choose a two on the scale when a nine is just as accessible..?

Hey that fire's lookin' a little small there, I better get up and do my dance again eh...
A while back, my wife had to switch birth controls.  We were done on the kid having and I have no insurance to modify my parts so hers were the cheaper.
When they switched her, we were told to refrain from the poundy pound because there was a small chance that we could become that dreaded word to anyone over thirty five with kids already, pregnant.
And while I know there are a whole mess of other things we "could" do, well for me, if I can't "finish" in the fashion that I'd like to, well...
I'll just pass thanks and see you in the endzone.

For two whole weeks, we became nuns in a church (or wherever they live when they're not doing their stuff).
No touching, no kissing because after the first couple of days, well the drive starts to accelerate you know.
Give us some full, busy days and we're fine but tell us we can't do something and all the sudden it's the one thing we want the most (I wonder where our kids get that from...)

Having a sexual frustration build up with only limited release and I start to go a little crazy.
I turned to the one place where I could find some shelter in the storm, my mind (you were goin' with "the internet" weren't you, I heard you..!)

No for me, one through ten didn't quite "do it".  I needed an eleven and I didn't have time for lengthy books or movies.
I went right to the source of my apprehension and said well, what are you gonna do about it?

I found myself writing, spilling little black words on my white screen.
And oh the places my mind went, just thinking about it now makes me need to "pause"...

There, all better..!
My point was, is, oh where did that thing go...
Yes, okay, "the point" is that what "works" for me, doesn't necessarily work for you or for anyone else.
It's customized and I think since I wrote it, I've shared it with exactly one person (and it wasn't my wife, it was a "mostly" stranger...)

Why didn't I share it with others?
Because oh my gosh will people think I'm a sicko.  My eleven might be my own ranking, given my level of exposure in my lifetime.
What if to someone else, I'd created a seventeen or a twenty two..?
What if instead of saying hey, this is awesome, what if someone told me that my sex tastes were simply insane, barbaric, crude, lacking of anything resembling "taste".  Would I handle that because I'm not sure I could.
Hate on my fiction, little thumb down my rants and ravings but criticize my sex interests and ouch, that one hurts more than usual for some reason.

As a self proclaimed writer with nothing published, I can take a lot of negativity when it comes to abandoning my dream of being famous and respected for my typings.
But call me a sex freak and I fall down and cry like a toddler with a scratch on the knee.  Also, don't insult my Buckeyes..!

I don't care how good a person can describe the contents of a fictional room.  I don't care how marvelous a mental image is painted.
I don't even think I care about the perspective or the mood or the cover on the front, the fonts, the little italic quotes at the beginning of chapters.
Really, honestly, there's not much I "need" when it comes to what I read except the story, it has to be something I'm interested in.
If I want to know what it's like to be stuck on a raft in the middle of an ocean with a hungry tiger for a shipmate, I'm gonna read that book right.  The story takes precedence because I'm interested, if the way the author wrote it sucked, I'm okay with that because all I really care about is how that poor human is going to be eaten in the end (and if he doesn't get eaten, how does he possibly manage that..?)
If I want to know about a group of soldiers fighting for their Emperor or dudes with lightsabers a swingin', I'm going to read it even if I dislike the author because his books all contain page after page of solid text, no indents, no breaks, no dialogue...
I'm going to plow through it and come out the other side right.

If a story is good enough, if I'm tempted in the right way, I will seek it out and send it through my eyes, no matter the "team" that helped publish it or not.
If I got an early glimpse of something great, I can tell myself to wait for the movie or the revision and I'm okay with that.
I always think of George Lucas and what he did with Star Wars way back in the day.
I mean here's a guy with nothing but an idea, a story and look what he did with it.  He even had to start in the middle of his story because there wasn't enough money or technology to start at the beginning.
But his story carried it.
He didn't give up, he worked and reworked and all the people he showed in the beginning, gave feedback and advice.
He improved his product, he took the criticism in the right way and it won't surprise me if his story is repeated and reconstructed for every generation after, never slowing down, never losing it's fans.

I come from a generation where our television has lied to us since the beginning.  Our government has lied to us repeatedly.

Our leaders lie, our teachers lie, our parents, our friends.  I pretty much don't trust anyone and I don't think anyone around me does either.
That seems to be the norm in my world eh.

So for me, to submit something to a publishing house, well I don't think it will ever happen.  Not because I can't handle the criticisms, just because I don't expect others to do anything for me without taking a huge chunk of the profits.
And if I'm the guy dreaming up stuff, if I'm the one they can't do it without, well I don't want a small percentage of my sales.  I want every last cent and I'll do without the fancy cover, the publicity.
I'll self publish and if I get any attention or someone likes what I've done, I'll go back and try to polish that puppy even to the point of rewriting the whole thing.
It's not like I'm going to forget how to write right.

If someday I create an empire like the Star Wars or the Sabbat Crusade, I'll look back and sincerely thank everybody that helped me along the way (I'll probs send them a fat check too).
But at this stage in my game, to go looking for someone else to help me with my writing, yeah, I don't see it happening.
Mabes I'll never be a successful writer and possibs I'll have to deliver newspapers until I die but I'm okay with that.
I have a space on the big bad interweb and that's all I feel like I need.  If I suck, no one will read my thoughts and I'll disappear into obscurity.
If I'm great, people will find me eventually, they'll read what I've left and like it, mabes they'll ask for more.

I consider JRR Tolkien and what he did, often, as well.
Here's a guy that wrote some books that never really "took off" the way they would if he wrote them today (or possibs not).
He died long before the Lord of the Rings movies (what were there six of 'em..?)
He never knew how people cherished his work but that didn't cause him to give up or quit after his first book.

We are all soldiers and we will always be.
We are all writers and we will always be.
If you want to be a writer in today's world, accept that you're not doing it for the fame and glory and money.
Don't quit, don't give up and believe that someday, someone somewhere will share what you've written and like it.
It doesn't matter who reproduces your words or how much money you were paid.
It matters how many readers you touched, how many will remember your stories and demand movies based on your words.

If anybody wants to read my sex story, I'll share (it doesn't even have a title).  I won't post it on my blog site because I'm scared (don't tell anyone).
Send me a message at and I'll fill your inbox.

Write because you have something inside of you and it needs to get out.  Share because there really are people that want to read what you've typed.

I don't think I'll go to them of the big players only to be rejected.  It seems more fitting to let them come to me eventually.
Because if I'm a good writer or even if I suck and I just have a decent story, a creative idea, well they'll come to me if I'm that good, no rejections.
In football, you have to prove you're a great player to be on the field, you can't say you'll be great when you get out there.
Great topic Nik!