I try to consider myself a unique person.
If I suck at a lot of other areas in my life, well I need at least one to reassure me that I'm not completely worthless right.
As I grew through my teenage years, I became quite unhappy about needing to shave my face every day. I mean, I was a kid that disliked the shower and brushing my teeth, how was I to manage a blade next to my neck on a regular basis...
My creative side kicked in and saved me. I began shaving in unusual ways, strange patterns, the weirder the better and that made it sorta bearable you know.
If I had a girlfriend at the time that would braid my hair or my goatee, I could stamp that flashing neon sign on my forehead for a day or three, "Unique Bishop Here" you know.
When it comes to the dark nooks in my mind, I believe there's some stuff in there that's truly "one of a kind" huh.
If I'm going to write or tell a story, I don't want someone to ever think oh, that's been done before. Or oh, he took that right from Harry Potter.
Or the worst stamp a critic can dish out, "Predictable", yeah that one frightens me greatly.
So occasionally, when I'm in "mid flow" and the ideas are arriving fast and loose, I pause and wonder "where the crap did that come from".
And sometimes the answer is scarier than the critics.
Because I honestly don't know where they come from, they're so weird, so foreign, so alien, so "insert adjective here" right.
Sometimes I try to poke 'em back into their rusty cages...
If you've been following my blog for a bit, you probs know that I'm a big fan of Nik Vincent and her blog, her words.
Recently I received my very first comment and can you guess? Yeps, it came from the one, the only and there was some merry dancing around my computer screen for five minutes or so.
Nik Vincent types - Brilliant and hilarious! Everything can be a fiction when you're writing fiction, including the sex. Smiles. Fictional characters have fictional sex. The writer isn't a sex freak... the characters just might be, of course...
Now, I can't imagine a bigger compliment (okay, if Mr Dan Abnett created a Ghost named Bishop who happened to be a writer, you know...)
But I can imagine what Nik was trying to say.
And much like all her other interesting words, well it made me pause and have those things again, thoughts...
As in, if you create something, is what you create a reflection of some part of your self or are the two completely isolated?
I don't know much about history but I sorta recall a guy named Albert Einstein creating something.
What he created was eventually used to build an atomic bomb and do we hold that against him because I don't think we do.
If there was one person who suggested we harness that power and use it to obliterate, well they probs kept his name a secret huh.
If Stephen King creates stories that scare us, is he a scary person on the inside or did someone scare him as a child?
To me, I think I've outgrown the whole horror genre. It must take something special to scare me eh.
I've also noticed over the years that things don't amuse me they way they once did, comedy has lost it's flair, it's spice.
One of my favorite comedy artists, Chris Farley was actually rather unfunny on his inside, or so I've heard.
Are humans really the opposite of what they create?
My older sons work as lifeguards during the summer. They spend so much time in the sun that when their friends ask if they want to go to the beach, they pass.
I worked at a pizza place for a while and it took me a "long" time before I could smell that and not associate it with work.
Do we slowly grow to despise what we do, what we create on a regular basis?
Did Einstein have other creations that he hid because hey, look what they did with that last one you know.
I've been married to the same wonderful woman for more than a decade and she's the only partner I've had in my bed for what seems like "almost" forever eh.
When I'm bored or in a fantasizing mood, I'll twist some words into sexual pretzels and what's produced is usually something I bury deep in my hard drive because I'm convinved, that I must be "wrong", something in me is broken, normal people cannot conjure this stuff up.
But it pains me because I am the type to constantly challenge myself with what I can (and can't write).
I want to share it and I want people to read it, I don't mind if they don't like it, that doesn't feel too important to me for some reason (lots of people don't like me on a regular basis, I must be used to that...)
I guess I'm afraid of discovering that I really am broken or cursed. Like right now, I can claim I "might" be "something" and that's okay because there's no confirmation huh.
Throw in a doctor's note or fifteen thousand people cringing and all the sudden, there's no more doubt, the Bishop is insane right.
If I create something, am I responsible for how it's used..?
If I invent the gun, I could claim I wanted people to be able to protect themselves. If some don't and use it for bad, that feels okay because my original intent was good.
If I write something meant to stimulate a person's sexual feelings, can I really chalk that up to "good intentions"..?
And then the kicker in the nutser, are writers special people because they truly have unique thoughts that not many can have?
Or are they normal people who have somehow found the courage to share what others would not.
If you don't know me or haven't read much of my stuff, you need to know that I am a huge Ohio State Football fan and that our team is the best in the whole land.
Also, we have a band that goes by the name "TBDBITL" (Google that!)
It stands for "The Best Damn Band in the Land" and we pride ourselves at being perfect.
This past weekend, the Ohio State Marching Band flew to London of all places to perform at an NFL football game. I thought it was an awesome trip for all those kids but also a huge honor, to have been chosen from every other band in the country.
In case you're wondering what makes them so super special, here's a link to the video, Go Buckeyes!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fz5ZaOPCclI
(How's that for brain food?)
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