Reflections on a Monday...

I think there's something we don't fully recognize, in ourselves and in others sometimes.
It's hard to look in a mirror and even harder to see what's there.
Sometimes I wonder if my words have a negative effect on people.  If my actions are more helpful or hindering.
And most of the time, there is no answer.  No image in the mirror I can see or perhaps it's time I wear some glasses.
Other times, I tell myself that it's only a matter of perspective and it is up to each of us, to find the good in horrible places, or the bad in great places.

One of my biggest writing heroes is a woman named Nik Vincent.  I don't think of her as a "giant" sword wielding hero like the ones in her husband's books.
But a hero, nonetheless and it might be hard to see why.

I look up to Nik because she has the courage to share her thoughts with the whole freakin' messed up world.
She types about women's rights, she talks about politics and religion and writing and movies and sex and there's not too much I haven't seen her not type about you know.

I see her as the huge castle walls, protecting and securing her place in the world, for her people, and for many others.
And I see a whole bunch of crazy primitives out there shooting arrows, trying to storm her sanity.  Occasionally they get past the barricades and the moat and I love watchin' Nik's defenders pour the burning oil, especially when they follow it up with the chicken feathers eh.
I see her as invulnerable to attacks and I don't see many others with the cajones to do the same.

We live in a world where our reputation means so much to us.  We strive to make others see us how we would like to be seen.
For some, it means they don't have to have a strong wall, no defenders, no oil because they never risk anything, they stay in the shadows and don't speak their minds when the opportunity arises.
For others, they carelessly encourage attacks, then spend a while in hurt land picking up the remnants of their broken walls.

Nik is my hero because she tolerates me when I fire all my canons at her fortifications.  She even smiles while she's encouraging me to load another round.
It is a strength I hope to someday have, to be as solid and impermeable.
And while I like to think that there is a nice soft, sweet side to Nik, all buried in those monster walls, I have to admit that I don't really know, I've never met her and only know her through her words.

Is what I perceive accurate?  Do I want her to be indestructible, to be a beacon of hope in a very dark world?
Do I want to continue to criticize, even when most of me agrees with everything she writes..?
Do I want to feel the attacks when they come to my walls and will I handle them as well as I believe Nik does?

It is hard to see things sometimes.  With my nose pressed against the mirror, I still wonder if there's a Bishop, calmly wavin' his hand in there somewhere.