To Write the Right...

The following is a direct response to what was written here...

http://www.nicolavincent-abnett.com/2015/10/fifty-shades-of-grey-and-self.html

I thought there might come a time when nothing that Nik could write would surprise me anymore.  I thought surely, there would be a day when all of her topics bored me, praps I just ran out of thoughts, mabes she and I are too different as people, to share the same thought patterns, I don't know because we've never met each other.
But lately, every time I check to see if she's written something new, I'm surprised by the way it compels me, the way it reaches into the darkest corners of my mind and shakes violently.
A topic about sex and writing?  Throw in some Ohio State football and my top three are covered huh.

But I always seem to want to throw out some background first, perchaps as a writer, I struggle with "the setting" as in, I know it's important, it should be a part of my story, but how to fit it in there right, how to make it flow and crap.
In the end I usually just go with my old friend, the colon.  As in, here's my background and stop dancing around the fire with it old man, just sit down already..!

I've been a fan of Dan Abnett's writing since the first Ghosts came out, I've tried to read almost "everything" since (but I'm only one human come on...)
When my son was young (like four), I used to read him the First and Only before bed.  It became a ritual for us to snuggle in his 'ittle bed writing down the names on our list of characters and talking about who was our favorite.
A while later, when he was reading better on his own, I gave him Brothers of the Snake and when he really picked up steam, here's the Eisenhorn trilogy (needless to say my son was reading seventh grade vocabulary in first grade...)
But I took it a step further because I started to notice that he didn't "like" to read at some point.  Tv and video games became his new favorites and books were just too, oh boring daddy, there's no pictures, no colors right.
So I'd read the same chapter that I expected of him, then I'd quiz him on the material to see if he actually read it.
But then I thought, you know, if we're talking about it already, why not take another step in the greater good direction eh.  Why not "study" it..?
My son learned what an ellipse was from Dan Abnett (see the first chapter of Eisenhorn).  He learned how to trick people and manipulate, how to negotiate, how to function in so many ways that if I try to list them all, this post would never end.
He learned simply, how to be the best human he could be, because we took those stories and studied them, we (I), really looked for things that could help shape his mind, his toolbox so to speak.

So after Eisenhorn came Ravenor, then Beta, then the Horus Heresy (just the first four).  Now, with my son twelve years old, I've finally come full circle and assigned him the Ghosts novels.  Back when he was teensy, we only read the first book so this was a chance to rekindle the old memories and complete the series.
After this, I've told him there won't be any more assignments from me, that he will be "free" to choose to read whatever he wants for the rest of his life.
But I still tell him often, when he complains that he wants to watch tv instead, that his school might teach him math and history but his Dan Abnett teaches him life.
And I'm not lettin' him shirk that duty eh.

So his most recent chapter, is number six from Necropolis, I know, it's a classic huh.
And one of the "lessons" that I concocted from that passage (notice how I refer to it like it's a holy book), was that deep down, tucked way inside each of us, is a warrior, a soldier and that all it takes, is someone to come along and try to hurt us or our loved ones and presto, the fighter in us takes over.
Men, women, children, elderly, special people, the lesson is the same.  Never for one second think that someone cannot be a fighter.  It's primal, it's instinctive, it will never leave our beings.
It's almost math, one human, insert threat, equals one fighter ready to kill or be killed.
In case you're completely lost, I'll describe for a minute the context:  Normal citizens living their lives, suddenly bombarded by bad guys, explosions, invasion and poof, normal citizens take up rocks and axe-rakes and fight for their homeland.

My lesson was to illustrate that "anyone" can be powerful, anyone can fight and in this day and age, just about everybody has the strength to pull a trigger.
But it was two fold like always, the first way to inspire and convince a twelve year old that he is powerful, that he can become a warrior someday or even tomorrow if the situation called for it.
And the second way, in defense, in a "don't ever underestimate anyone no matter what" fashion.
I like to study both sides of every coin and just mabes, my son will remember these lessons "someday".
Now, was that enough background for ya..?

All my dancing and fire waving was really for this one set up, ready for it, brace yourselves, it's a good one.
Never for one second think that someone cannot be a writer.

Think about it.  This is one of our more ingrained abilities no?
Cavemen used to write on their walls, our kids are taught in every school how to read and...  write.
Unless you come from a third world nation with snot for education, well reading and writing are all basic skills eh.
It should be a given, all people can write whether it's a grocery list informing us we need more toilet paper or a Harry Potter book, they're just little things made up of words right, and in our language, well there's only what, twenty six different letters..?

Are some people natural born grocery list makers while others are expert word wranglers?  Sure.
Can we take a grocery list and put it in the hands of some exceptional people and make something that someone would actually want to read, not to mention "lots" of someones..?  Possibs.

I'm a popular guy at my local library and I rent an armful of books with every visit.  I've read some really horrible books in my day and I'm the kinda guy that doesn't give up after the first third (or even the second).
I plow through that steamy pile of compost the whole time hoping it will "get better".  When it doesn't, I usually chalk it up to experience as in, now I know what I shouldn't do huh.

I've read my share of sex books.  When I was just a wee sprout, I'd sneak looks at my dad's Playboy collection and after staring at the pictures and doing what young guys do, well I'd spend some time reading the sexy stories, just for kicks you know.

Some seemed really stupid, like the author "tried" too hard.  Others were subtle and tasteful and I'd find myself glancing back at the pictures for a minute.
Many years later (okay, decades), and Playboy has announced it will no longer have pictures in it's magazines as get this, the internet has enough of that already.
Like explaining that we can't make a homemade pizza for dinner tonight because we live right next door to a Pizza Hut and really, how can that compare...

Our world has become one flooded with pornography.  To the point where people are recognizing that there's no more profit in it anywhere because it's "been done".
I'm about six months short of forty interesting years on this planet and I have to admit, that I don't think there is anything new on the sex front that I could ever encounter, I've seen it all I'm afraid.
I mean there's only three working parts, my son's skateboard seems more complicated...
If we wanted, we could construct a "scale" to rank everything about sex into a one through ten style list with one being the most "soft core" and ten being the craziest stuff imaginable.
And if someone liked sex, the act, the viewing, the reading about, would they willingly choose a two on the scale when a nine is just as accessible..?

Hey that fire's lookin' a little small there, I better get up and do my dance again eh...
A while back, my wife had to switch birth controls.  We were done on the kid having and I have no insurance to modify my parts so hers were the cheaper.
When they switched her, we were told to refrain from the poundy pound because there was a small chance that we could become that dreaded word to anyone over thirty five with kids already, pregnant.
And while I know there are a whole mess of other things we "could" do, well for me, if I can't "finish" in the fashion that I'd like to, well...
I'll just pass thanks and see you in the endzone.

For two whole weeks, we became nuns in a church (or wherever they live when they're not doing their stuff).
No touching, no kissing because after the first couple of days, well the drive starts to accelerate you know.
Give us some full, busy days and we're fine but tell us we can't do something and all the sudden it's the one thing we want the most (I wonder where our kids get that from...)

Having a sexual frustration build up with only limited release and I start to go a little crazy.
I turned to the one place where I could find some shelter in the storm, my mind (you were goin' with "the internet" weren't you, I heard you..!)

No for me, one through ten didn't quite "do it".  I needed an eleven and I didn't have time for lengthy books or movies.
I went right to the source of my apprehension and said well, what are you gonna do about it?

I found myself writing, spilling little black words on my white screen.
And oh the places my mind went, just thinking about it now makes me need to "pause"...

There, all better..!
My point was, is, oh where did that thing go...
Yes, okay, "the point" is that what "works" for me, doesn't necessarily work for you or for anyone else.
It's customized and I think since I wrote it, I've shared it with exactly one person (and it wasn't my wife, it was a "mostly" stranger...)

Why didn't I share it with others?
Because oh my gosh will people think I'm a sicko.  My eleven might be my own ranking, given my level of exposure in my lifetime.
What if to someone else, I'd created a seventeen or a twenty two..?
What if instead of saying hey, this is awesome, what if someone told me that my sex tastes were simply insane, barbaric, crude, lacking of anything resembling "taste".  Would I handle that because I'm not sure I could.
Hate on my fiction, little thumb down my rants and ravings but criticize my sex interests and ouch, that one hurts more than usual for some reason.

As a self proclaimed writer with nothing published, I can take a lot of negativity when it comes to abandoning my dream of being famous and respected for my typings.
But call me a sex freak and I fall down and cry like a toddler with a scratch on the knee.  Also, don't insult my Buckeyes..!

I don't care how good a person can describe the contents of a fictional room.  I don't care how marvelous a mental image is painted.
I don't even think I care about the perspective or the mood or the cover on the front, the fonts, the little italic quotes at the beginning of chapters.
Really, honestly, there's not much I "need" when it comes to what I read except the story, it has to be something I'm interested in.
If I want to know what it's like to be stuck on a raft in the middle of an ocean with a hungry tiger for a shipmate, I'm gonna read that book right.  The story takes precedence because I'm interested, if the way the author wrote it sucked, I'm okay with that because all I really care about is how that poor human is going to be eaten in the end (and if he doesn't get eaten, how does he possibly manage that..?)
If I want to know about a group of soldiers fighting for their Emperor or dudes with lightsabers a swingin', I'm going to read it even if I dislike the author because his books all contain page after page of solid text, no indents, no breaks, no dialogue...
I'm going to plow through it and come out the other side right.

If a story is good enough, if I'm tempted in the right way, I will seek it out and send it through my eyes, no matter the "team" that helped publish it or not.
If I got an early glimpse of something great, I can tell myself to wait for the movie or the revision and I'm okay with that.
I always think of George Lucas and what he did with Star Wars way back in the day.
I mean here's a guy with nothing but an idea, a story and look what he did with it.  He even had to start in the middle of his story because there wasn't enough money or technology to start at the beginning.
But his story carried it.
He didn't give up, he worked and reworked and all the people he showed in the beginning, gave feedback and advice.
He improved his product, he took the criticism in the right way and it won't surprise me if his story is repeated and reconstructed for every generation after, never slowing down, never losing it's fans.

I come from a generation where our television has lied to us since the beginning.  Our government has lied to us repeatedly.

Our leaders lie, our teachers lie, our parents, our friends.  I pretty much don't trust anyone and I don't think anyone around me does either.
That seems to be the norm in my world eh.

So for me, to submit something to a publishing house, well I don't think it will ever happen.  Not because I can't handle the criticisms, just because I don't expect others to do anything for me without taking a huge chunk of the profits.
And if I'm the guy dreaming up stuff, if I'm the one they can't do it without, well I don't want a small percentage of my sales.  I want every last cent and I'll do without the fancy cover, the publicity.
I'll self publish and if I get any attention or someone likes what I've done, I'll go back and try to polish that puppy even to the point of rewriting the whole thing.
It's not like I'm going to forget how to write right.

If someday I create an empire like the Star Wars or the Sabbat Crusade, I'll look back and sincerely thank everybody that helped me along the way (I'll probs send them a fat check too).
But at this stage in my game, to go looking for someone else to help me with my writing, yeah, I don't see it happening.
Mabes I'll never be a successful writer and possibs I'll have to deliver newspapers until I die but I'm okay with that.
I have a space on the big bad interweb and that's all I feel like I need.  If I suck, no one will read my thoughts and I'll disappear into obscurity.
If I'm great, people will find me eventually, they'll read what I've left and like it, mabes they'll ask for more.

I consider JRR Tolkien and what he did, often, as well.
Here's a guy that wrote some books that never really "took off" the way they would if he wrote them today (or possibs not).
He died long before the Lord of the Rings movies (what were there six of 'em..?)
He never knew how people cherished his work but that didn't cause him to give up or quit after his first book.

We are all soldiers and we will always be.
We are all writers and we will always be.
If you want to be a writer in today's world, accept that you're not doing it for the fame and glory and money.
Don't quit, don't give up and believe that someday, someone somewhere will share what you've written and like it.
It doesn't matter who reproduces your words or how much money you were paid.
It matters how many readers you touched, how many will remember your stories and demand movies based on your words.

If anybody wants to read my sex story, I'll share (it doesn't even have a title).  I won't post it on my blog site because I'm scared (don't tell anyone).
Send me a message at SaneWords@hotmail.com and I'll fill your inbox.

Write because you have something inside of you and it needs to get out.  Share because there really are people that want to read what you've typed.

I don't think I'll go to them of the big players only to be rejected.  It seems more fitting to let them come to me eventually.
Because if I'm a good writer or even if I suck and I just have a decent story, a creative idea, well they'll come to me if I'm that good, no rejections.
In football, you have to prove you're a great player to be on the field, you can't say you'll be great when you get out there.
Great topic Nik!